The best friend I’ve always wanted.

I never thought I would learn the meaning of pure and selfless love from my dog. From the day we had brought her home from the breeder, she was a handful- a stubborn little rascal. Her personalty never changed, she knew who to listen to and who she could ignore. She understood who will give her the most food, and who would catch onto her sneaky tactics. She had a personality that fit in with the family, that is what made her so unique. Mahi, Mahi Mahal. That is what we named her, i’ve always told people she was named after the Mahi Mahi fish but in all honesty, I named her after one of my favorite characters from an Indian soap opera.

The loss of a pet is equivalent to losing a family member, the pain, the sorrow, the void it all seems to never go away. What’s worse is the feeling of losing your best friend, your baby. The first day Mahi came home, I was the one who slept on the laundry room hardwood floor only to wake up to a puffball that took over my pillow and blanket. From random car rides, study sessions, taco bell runs to hide and seek, snow ball fights, and cartoons, Mahi shared every moment with me for the past 7 years. She was there to eat coconuts and oranges with, and she was there when we just sat on the grass and thought about life. She always knew what to do in the situation.

You never really grasp onto how much that life meant to you until they are gone. I would always share stories about Mahi, and her stubborn attitude. Not letting me park the car in the garage by just sitting in front of the car like she’s in a protest that I didn’t take  her with me, or howling and whimpering louder and louder until she could run freely around the neighborhood with her other dog friends. She always knew how to get what she wanted.

If you made fun of her, or say something mean, she would give you the most dramatic attitude and ignore anything and everything that you say when you try to communicate with her. Once I made fun of how fat she had gotten, and she gave me the most evil look, didn’t even eat cheese from me (and that was her favorite treat). I spent at least an hour trying to get her attention before she finally caved it. Now that’s gone.

It’s hard entering home without someone to greet you with excitement and happiness every time. It’s hard having to readjust your daily routine because your dog is no longer a part of your life. We had to put down Mahi about a month ago due to serious health issues that greatly hindered her quality of life. I’ve always been against having to put a pet down, and I never thought I would have to make that decision and that too so soon. The morning we made the decision was when I walked in on Mahi laying in her own urine because she had lost all strength and feeling in her back and legs. We both knew it was time and shared a moment in my arms with tears and silence.

I’ll never forget those blue eyes and spoke to you, and the warm, loving soul that brought joy and unity within our family.  This blog comes with a very heavy heart. I know Mahi’s physical presence is gone from this Earth, but I continue to search for her soul, and I fail to find that connection with others. Mahi never let me feel alone during my bad days, and always accompanied during the good days, and now I have to learn to conquer  everyday without her, and that in itself has been the hardest challenge for me this month. School has been keeping me busy, especially since I have moved away from home, but there are several moments I keep to myself thinking how much Mahi would have enjoyed it or brings back a memory with her. I avoid sharing my sorrow with my friends and family because I don’t want to be seen as the girl that continues to weep, because i’m most certainly not. I don’t think i’ll ever be able to overcome this loss. Mahi wasn’t just my dog, she was my best friend, my baby, my sister, and companion. She was with me during the difficult high school drama, and challenging pre-med years of undergrad. She probably learned more science than I did during out study sessions. She was one of a kind, a quick learner, great cuddle-er, and hilarious yoga partner. I’m sure her soul is living up the life, and I hope i’ll be able to meet her again someday. Until then, i’ll continue to search for something to fulfill that void in my life because nothing can replace her, but I know she wouldn’t want me sad, and that too because of her.

Something i’ve learned from Mahi is what true love really feels like, it wasn’t a boy that taught me this, It was my dog. She taught how it feels to love something and how it feels to be loved without expectations or materialistic things. It was pure and real. I’ll always be forever grateful to her for that. Always.

As i conclude this post, I urge all pet owners to hold your friend a little close, tell them you love them, and spend time with them. There is that saying that your pet is just a part of your world, but for them you are their world. I didn’t understand how big of a part Mahi played in my life until I lost her, and I wish I could have spent more time with her throughout the years. I wish life didn’t throw such curveballs, but that’s the only way we can grow stronger and develop. Whatever you do, never take your pet for granted. From something as simple as a fish to as sophisticated as a horse. They have souls residing in them, just like we do, and they deserve the same love and happiness we all do. So please do that.

I hope Mahi lived the life she wanted, her short 7 years on this earth changed me in a way I can never put into words, but I hope i was able to help her grow and learn something beyond tricks during her time with me. I’ll always miss my white, fat, fluffball.

I hope you take time to think about what you have learned from your pet, and what you hope your pet can know from you. Take my experience as a lesson, the clock is ticking and we don’t realize it until it’s too late. I always wish for one more hug with Mahi, just one more.

3/18/09-8/31/16 ❤

Send your pets some love from me,


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